


Girls Love Girls And Boys

by PandoraButler



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Crossdressing, F/M, Izuo - Freeform, M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, crossdressing!izaya, drrr - Freeform, durarara - Freeform, genderfluid!izaya?, izaya x shizuo - Freeform, shizuo has a sister, shizuo x izaya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Shizuo has been best friends with Izaya for as long as he can remember. They practically popped out of the womb together. It isn't until his little sister Shizuoka brings home her friend that he starts to realize things like love might actually exist...
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Kudos: 12





	1. Prologue

"Please go out with me." 

That simple string of words forced Izaya's entire body to a standstill. He stared blankly at the blonde, wondering why this statement possibly escaped those lips. He shook his head. "Shizu, you know that's impossible," he sighed, "I like your brother."

"No, no, not like that," she laughed. Her hand waving in the air to discount the idea. "If my brother thinks you like _me_ , maybe he will realize how much he likes _you_. He is too used to having you around, Izaya. He has to lose you to realize how much you mean to him!" Her eyes overflowed with excitement. She'd been planning this for a while. Shizuo and Izaya, they were two peas in a pod. Eternally friends, much to Izaya's disappointment. Unrequited love was a bitch. 

"I don't think I could even _pretend_ to go out with you," Izaya frowned. "You're like the sister I never had, which is saying something because I have two sisters."

"We don't have to do anything super mushy. We can act like we always do. Shizuo's dumb brain will imagine all of the _finer_ details," Shizuoka's lips curved upward into a mischievous grin. 

"What if it doesn't work and we're forced to date for real?" Izaya cringed at the thought. He had nothing against Shizuoka. Of course not. He also had nothing against dating women. But, his entire life had been molded about one singular entity: Shizuo. He couldn't imagine himself with anyone else. They were made for each other. Shizuo just didn't see that. 

"Then, we will go to Plan B," Shizuoka held up her notebook. It was labeled 'How to Make Shizaya Canon' with little chibi versions of Izaya and Shizuo taped to the cover. 

"Dare I ask what Plan B is?" Izaya curled up into the comforter on Shizuoka's bed. He was at the Heiwajima house, like usual, but Shizuo was nowhere to be found. He'd spent a lot of time with his sister over the past few months because Shizuo had after school activities or something stupid like that. Izaya's favorite pastime was the Going Home Club. He was a pro member. Except for the small fact that he never went _home_. He always went _here_. His parents were a bit...not good...and his siblings were the favorite children so Izaya had nowhere else to be. He might as well move in with the Heiwajimas. 

"Plan B is that I announce to my family that I'm interested in women and we bring back Kanra," Shizuoka explained while flipping pages with doodled diagrams. "This plan is perfect! Nothing can go wrong! I have a lot of backup plans in case for some reason it does happen to go wrong, which it won't, of course, because I'm a genius. Trust me. I've thought long and hard about this." 

"Are you out of your mind?!" Izaya threw one of Shizuoka's anime body pillow at her face. She frowned as her husbando crashed to the floor. Izaya shot daggers with his eyes. "This is _never_ going to work and we are going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do when it all goes downhill." 

"So, we wait till it goes downhill and it'll be okay! Trust me, Izaya," Shizuoka smiled. Her special smile. The smile where she perfectly replicated Shizuo's heartwarming expression that Izaya rarely saw on the original specimen. 

Izaya frowned, "Fine." He covered himself fully with the blanket, shielding himself from the glee of Shizuo's sister. They could be twins, if you discounted the height difference and the fact that they were two years apart in age, Shizuo and Shizuoka were practically identical. Which meant, that after Shizuoka found out about Izaya's emotions, all she had to do was act like Shizuo and she could get the raven-haired lovestruck dummy to do whatever she pleased. 

"Now," she smirked, crossing her legs and folding her arms, "let's talk about our relationship." 


	2. We Have to Bring Back Kanra

"You two are... _dating_?" Shizuo's head tilted the side. He looked like a sad, slightly confused, puppy that had just been told he wasn't going on a walk. Izaya wanted to die. His arm was slung around Shizuoka's shoulder, they were awkwardly close together, and if he had to stay smiling like this for much longer he might crumble under the pressure. Don't get him wrong, he has lied before. He has lied to his parents, to the Heiwajimas, to his sisters, to strangers, but never before has he lied to Shizuo. So, despite knowing how trashy he already was, this really got to him. 

"Yes," Shizuoka smiled. She wrapped her arm around Izaya's waist and pulled him closer. She stared into his eyes with determination and nuzzled her face into his neck, giggling. 

"Congratulations," Shizuo shrugged. He twirled around in his desk chair and got back to typing. He had papers to write. Things to do. Friends to ignore and not hang out with. Izaya laughed, albeit nervously, and grabbed Shizuoka by the ear to her room across the hall. He gave some silly excuse that 'they needed to spend time together as a new couple' and closed the door. 

"I told you this wasn't going to work," Izaya frowned, leaning up against the door, sinking to the ground. "He wasn't phased in the slightest." 

"These things take time, Izaya," Shizuoka shook her head. "It's not going to happen immediately. Once he notices that you never have time for him anymore, that you guys stop talking as much, I'm sure he will realize how important you are to his existence!" 

"Shizu," Izaya shook his head, "I think you're forgetting something important here..." 

"Hm? Like what?" That same clueless puppy look and head tilt Shizuo did not two minutes before was repeated on this female standing in front of Izaya. He pinched her cheeks and pulled. 

"Shi has been too busy with school activities and classes to spend time with me for the past few _months_. I doubt he will care if we don't hang out. He hasn't cared so far. Why would he start caring now?" 

"I mway or mway nwot hav a flwaw..." Shizuoka tried to speak with her cheeks being pulled, it wasn't working as well as she would've liked. 

"You're such an idiot," Izaya frowned. He released her cheeks and curled up into a ball on her bed. It smelled nice. Like vanilla. Izaya enjoyed the scent of vanilla. "Do you have any candles?" he asked, from his cacoon of comforters. 

"If I give you any more vanilla scented candles you're going to get lung cancer from the amount that you burn at one time," Shizuoka shook her head. "Calm down, loverboy, we are going to fix this flaw in my genius planning." She grabbed her notebook and spun in her desk chair balancing the pen on her upper lip. Her hair swished from side to side. 

"Why bother? I'm going to end up forever alone, loving humans, being hated, and I'll probably die in a ditch somewhere." Izaya poked his head out of his bundle of blankets and sighed. 

"Now listen here you," Shizuoka jumped off of her chair and glomped the Izaurito. She tackled him to the ground and began her tickle therapy. "We will have none of that in my room!" 

"Nu! Stahp!" Izaya laughed against his will. "I am skinny I don't have meat to defend myself with!" he waved his arms frantically. His blankets had been stolen. Shizuoka was sitting on top of him mutilating his sides with her devilish tickling. 

The door opened. Shizuoka continued her torture much to Izaya's disappointment. "I was expecting something kinky from those screams of terror but you're just a little shit, Shizu," Shizuo shook his head, disappointed. Whether he was disappointed at not finding them up to kinky shit or disappointed by the fact that tickling may or may not be considered kinky to some people...no one would know. 

"He is _my_ boyfriend I can do what I want with him," Shizuoka snickered. Izaya didn't enjoy that gleam in her eye. 

"Yeah, okay, well I need to borrow your boyfriend for a bit," Shizuo walked over, picked up Shizuoka and moved her. He placed her on her bed and then picked up Izaya and walked out. Clear as day. Simple as that. Izaya had plenty of things on his mind to worry about in the brief minutes he spent in Shizuo's arms. Firstly, why was he being borrowed? Shizuo was his best friend, the person he loved most in the world, there was no reason he had to be _borrowed_. Secondly, was Shizuoka's dumbass plan working? Thirdly, Shizuo smells so nice. Can they make a candle out of this? Izaya would buy all of them. 

Izaya was placed on the bed. His shirt was still halfway off of his body from the tickle torture so Shizuo fixed it for reasons unknown. Now Izaya was sitting, upright, staring at Shizuo who was also sitting next to him on the bed, without any real reason of why he'd been brought here. 

"I have a problem," Shizuo began. Oh. Great. Just what Izaya needed. He was here to solve Shizuo's problems like usual without anything in return. They hadn't spoken in months but the minute Shizuo had an issue, Izaya was number one on his list of people to associate with. Izaya, frustrated and slightly angry, folded his hands and placed them on his lap. He clutched each hand with all of the strength he could muster to keep from punching Shizuo right in that beautiful face of his. Dumb blonde. 

"What is the problem, Shi?" Izaya asked, as sweetly as he could. 

"I have to go to this party. I never really wanted to go but now I have to. It's 100% likely I'm going to be forced to kiss someone against my will through those stupid games like 'seven minutes in heaven' and 'spin the bottle,'" Shizuo held his head in his hands and sighed. 

Okay. Izaya. You've got this. You have to turn off 'Sassy Gay Best Friend' and turn on 'Trashy Hetero Norm Bestie.' "I don't see what the problem here is, Shi," Izaya shrugged. "Shouldn't you be excited that you're cool enough to be invited to one of those things?" 

"I've never kissed anyone!" Shizuo grabbed Izaya's shoulders and shook him lightly. "How am I going to maintain my stupid reputation if I fuck it up there?!" 

"Uh-huh," Izaya tried to wrap his rattled brain around the idea of Shizuo kissing someone. "So the problem here is that you need to kiss someone before this get together? Well, that's easy." 

"How is that easy?" Shizuo frowned. 

"You can just kiss me." Izaya needed to think before he spoke. His inner desires were coming forth and he was 100% not ready to rationalize this right now. Okay. Okay. Izaya, you can do this. "I'm your best friend, someone you can trust not to be overly judgemental about the way you kiss. I also won't tell anyone your first kiss was with a guy and no one has to know that we even kissed outside of you and me. I'm the perfect practice partner." 

"You just started dating my sister..." 

Oh. Shit. Roadblock. Okay Izaya brain, work it. "It's exactly _because_ I just started dating Shizu that I need this too. Think about it. I haven't kissed anyone either. I don't want to embarrass myself." Izaya's brain worked overtime to counteract various other excuses Shizuo might try to pose. He was thinking so hard that he wasn't observing the obvious movement of Shizuo getting closer to him. 

Izaya melted at Shizuo's touch. His mind was blank. Completely barren. All he could do was remain frozen in place. He didn't want to react in such a way that Shizuo would know how he felt. Being Izaya Orihara was constricting. He had to think about Shizuo's perception of him when all he really wanted to do was pin this brute down on the bed and give him a lesson in how to kiss. The small white lie of Izaya never kissing anyone was getting him so far. Curse him for thinking he should lie to Shizuo more often. 

Shizuo, bold and without any notion of how to hold back, intermingled their tongues. Izaya squeaked. Actually squeaked. If you recorded his noise and played it for Shinra, Shinra would mistake it for a lab mouse. 

Izaya desperately wanted to reach out and touch Shizuo. He refrained only for the simple fact that there was a knock on the door and Shizuo pushed Izaya away. Unable to hide his frustration, Izaya frowned, glaring at the individual opening the door. He was never going to get another chance to kiss Shizuo. Why did you have to ruin this for him? 

Wait. There would be another chance. That party. Izaya stood up, brushed by whoever it was standing at the door, and walked right back to Shizuoka's friendly lair of doom. He shut the door, locked it, and firmly announced, "We have to bring back Kanra." 


	3. Heart Thief

Everyone's head turned the moment Kanra entered a room. Her overpowering scent of dominance made men quiver. She was bold and made men submit all while dressed in fairly modest clothing (so imagine the damage she could do in something a little shorter and more tight). There wasn't much to her overall appearance. It was her sheer aura that commanded people to turn their heads. Male or female. It didn't matter. Her hair long and black. Her makeup natural and yet no one found it lacking. A bit of eyeliner here, foundation there, her face didn't require a lot of work. It was already flawless.

She brushed her hair back behind her ear and sat down in the circle of friends. She smiled, waving at the host who had so graciously invited her, and turned to face Shizuo. The blonde was just as dumbstruck as everyone else. "Do you even go to our school?" he asked, regretting it moments after. The amount of glares he got from trying to kick her out made him wonder if he'd die tonight.

She laughed, bringing her hand up to his cheek and patting it playfully. "Oh, sweetie, I don't need to go to your school to be invited. Isn't that right?" she winked at the crowd staring at her. If you paid attention, you might be able to listen to their hearts skip a beat all in sync. Each one shook their head. They didn't want her to leave now that she was already here.

Shinra clapped his hands to get their attention, "I know everyone is thrilled about our new guest but you don't want to suffocate her. How about we play a game? Any suggestions?"

"King's Game."

"Spin the Bottle."

"Seven Minutes in Heaven."

Each person that suggested one of these three games was staring at Kanra, hoping that God might smile down from above and grant them with an opportunity to be held in her arms. Sorry, ladies and gents, but she had other plans. "Do you have a deck of cards?" she asked. Shinra nodded. He had no idea where they were, however, so that was a different issue. Luckily for him, a certain male with blonde hair always carried a package of cards in his pocket. For reasons unknown. Kanra knew that.

Shizuo held out the deck of cards for Kanra which she so graciously took. She opened them and shuffled the deck, making sure there was only one Joker. She enthralled the audience yet again with her masterful tricks of illusion and mystery. Cheap things. She spread out the deck of cards on the floor and announced the rules to her mysterious game. "It's like 'seven minutes of heaven' except I make it hell. Everyone picks a card. The person with the Joker is the one that wins," she explained. "Or loses, depending on how you look at it," she smirked.

The first person to pick the Joker wasn't Shizuo. This had been planned, of course, so that the rest of the crowd would be intimidated and slightly enthralled by the mysterious game. Kanra and Shinra entered the closet first. Screams, laughter, and a series of painful noises escaped. Each member of this audience turned to look at each other. Each one was curious and slightly terrified of what would take place should they pick the Joker. This lowered the possibilities of people that would actually be willing to play vs the people that would simply watch. That way, the chances of Shizuo picking up the Joker would be increased. Not that it mattered. Kanra had ways of getting what she wanted.

She did her card tricks and laid out the cards. Shizuo only ever picked up a card from one location. It was always three cards from the last. All Kanra had to do was place the Joker there and victory would be hers. How did she know this? Because Kanra had been best friends with Shizuo since the dawn of time. Well, Izaya had been best friends with Shizuo since the dawn of time. Right now he was dressed like the opposite sex acting like a completely different person. That's not entirely true. Kanra was every bit as much of Izaya as Izaya was. The difference? Kanra didn't have a lifelong friendship to live up to. Izaya could do as he wished under the guise of being a different person altogether. It was freeing, too freeing, so he'd given up 'Kanra' years ago...only to use her again now for his own advantage.

"You're the lucky winner," Kanra smirked. She grabbed Shizuo's hand and led him into the closet. The door closed, trapping them in the darkness of each other. She grabbed his shirt and brought him down. Her hand trailed up his shirt and behind his neck, pushing, making what little distance between the two that existed disappear. Their lips collided. Shizuo, the inexperienced kisser, too confused to react. Kanra hit the back of his knees, making them give out, and sat on his lap. She never once released her grip on his hair or allowed Shizuo to separate from her.

She grabbed his hair, pulling his head back, and leaned forward to whisper into his ear, "I'm going to make you mine, Shizuo Heiwajima."

Shizuo, who up until this point had experienced little to no interactions with the opposite sex, was surprisingly okay with that notion. He accepted it, as fact, and failed to realize his heart had just been stolen. The timer rang and Kanra stood up as if nothing had happened. She kicked the door open and held the joker card between her fingers. "Care to play again?" she laughed, making more cards appear in her hands out of thin air.


	4. Roleplaying

"That was a mistake," Izaya faceplanted into the bed. He was back to normal, no Kanra in sight, but he hated the fact that he used her again. Couldn't he just be himself? Forget about everything? Do as he pleased without consequence? No, but Kanra could, lucky bastard.

"It didn't seem like a mistake about an hour ago when you were gleaming with satisfaction. Why regret so soon?" Shizuoka took notes. Izaya never made sense to her, but one day, after long hours of analyzing, maybe he would.

"What if he actually does fall for me? But it's not me, Shizu, it's Kanra. What do I do then? Do I get a sex change and pretend I'm actually and always was Kanra? But he'd be confused by the sudden disappearance of Izaya from his life! This was a mistake. You never should've let me do this!"

"I think it worked out nicely. If Kanra ends up dating Shizuo then at least you know that no one else will take him away from you," Shizuoka shrugged.

"Yeah, until he wants to have sex or something and finds out that _she_ is a _he_."

The door burst open and Shizuo picked up Izaya and walked out, "I'm stealing your boyfriend again," he muttered.

"Okay, but don't have too much fun with him," Shizuoka winked. She mouthed 'good luck' to Izaya as the door closed. This better not become a habit of Shizuo just picking Izaya up and dragging him to his room. Izaya would _not_ be able to handle that.

"So, what is it this time?" Izaya crossed his legs and leaned back on his arms as he sat on the bed. Shizuo was pacing in his room unable to verbalize any sort of sentence.

"I think I might've fallen for the worst type of person," Shizuo admitted. Ouch. So, Izaya was the worst type of person now? Well...actually...that's kind of accurate.

"Did you meet someone at the party?" Izaya refrained from sighing. He already knew what happened but how much was the 'best friend Izaya' going to find out about it?

Shizuo stopped in his tracks and stared at Izaya. The raven-head became more and more visibly uncomfortable with the gaze. Was this how he was found out? "Can you take off your shirt?" Shizuo asked, completely casual.

"What?"

"Can you tak-"

"No, no, I heard you but why are you asking me this?" Izaya crossed his arms over his chest and scooted back onto the bed. Shizuo had no blankets to hide in. Damn him.

"Well, I've known you for years but the thought just now occurred to me that you've got an awfully slender body type. Have you ever considered posing as a girl?" Shizuo placed his hand on his chin and frowned. His gaze still dead set on examining every inch of Izaya.

"What does this have to do with your new crush?" Izaya curled up into a ball and hugged his legs. He rested his hands on his knees and tried to avoid the piercing gaze of Shizuo.

"Can you be my girlfriend?"

"Uhm, Shi, there are many problems with that question and I think you'll find that the biggest one is in my pants."

"Why, what's wrong with your pants?"

"Good Lord, you can't be serious," Izaya hid his face in his knees. There was no saving Shizuo. He was hopeless.

"I want you to pretend to be my girlfriend, or even just a girl, so that I can ask the girl that I've fallen for out."

"So, we are roleplaying?" Izaya nodded. "Okay, shoot."

"Shouldn't you, I don't know, get into character or something?"

Izaya sighed. He moved to the edge of the bed and crossed his legs again. He ran his hand through his hair and parted it to look like bangs. He sat up straight, folded his hands, and summoned a tiny semblance of Kanra. "Okay, shoot," he repeated.

"Will you go out with me?" Shizuo got straight to the point. He was so serious it pained Izaya down to the center of his core. He opened his mouth to answer when his phone vibrated inside his pocket. He scrambled to answer it. Anything to avoid this godforsaken conversation.

"Sorry, dear, I have to take this," Izaya answered in his most high pitched feminine voice.

"Hello?" In about the three seconds that it took for Izaya to answer the phone, he dropped it. The line went dead and Izaya's entire world crumbled before him. "I have to go," Izaya looked at the ground, picked up his phone, and walked out. The shadow on his face hadn't been seen in years. Shizuo, too scared to respond, decided it was best to let him leave.

"What happened? Where is Izaya?" Shizuoka asked him, after many hours of silence.

"He left."

"Yes, I can see that, but did he tell you why?"

"No."

"You're not much of a friend are you?" Shizuoka frowned. She crossed her arms and leaned up against the doorway. "Izaya isn't going to be around forever. You're taking him for granted, don't you know that?"

"What?"

Shizuoka huffed, "I swear to God, one day I'm going to slap you into next week!"

"Where are you going?" Shizuo asked, as his little sister walked right down the stairs and out the door.

"To find out what happened to my boyfriend goddamnit!" she slammed the door.


	5. A New Little Sister

"What the hell are you doing?" Shizuoka kicked open the door to Izaya's room and watched as he scrambled to pack each and every one of his belongings.

"I'm moving," he explained. Nice. Easy. To the point. Anyone could understand that.

"The hell you are! My plan isn't finished yet!" Shizuoka stomped right over and smacked the pile of clothes out of his hands.

"Shizu," Izaya took a deep breath, "I think it's time we started to face the facts. Okay? Shizuo Heiwajima does not and never will love Izaya Orihara. Now. If you would be so kind as to get out of my room so I can pack before tomorrow, it would be greatly appreciated. I am moving. It's been decided. I have until the day ends to vacate the premises. Do you want to know why? Because my parents don't give two shits about me and they're kicking me out! The twins don't want to share a room anymore which means I have to leave. I have until the end of the night to get to my step-brother's house on the other side of the country! I don't have time for this idl-"

Izaya's rambling was interrupted by the resounding noise of hand to cheek. The bright red handprint on his face was enough to prove to him that Shizuoka didn't want to listen to reason. "Calm the fuck down you little shit. You're not moving across the country. We can figure this out."

"How are you going to make my parents suddenly love me? You're not a miracle worker, Shizu, you can't make people care about me. Not Shi. Not my parents," Izaya got back to putting things in boxes as the useless shipper put her brain to work.

"You can live with us and share the room with Shizuo," she announced.

"Right," Izaya rolled his eyes. "Let me just burden your family with another mouth to feed while I share a bed with someone who may or may not wake up to my raging boner on his leg. Sounds like a great idea."

"Sleep in my room?"

"Man and woman sharing a room. How scandalous," Izaya rolled his eyes a second time. "Your parents would never agree to such a pagan concept."

"Yeah, but, you're you. You're not a man. You're Izaya. You practically live there already and they think of you as one of their own kids."

"Have you forgotten that we are fating? They'd never let us sleep in the same bed let alone the same room because you just announced to the world that you're in love with me. And love, to the heterosexual mind, means sex all the time," Izaya sighed.

"Fating? Fake plus dating, I like that," she picked up a pen and wrote in on her arm. "But this will work if you're not you. Kanra would have no problems. She can live with us, stay in my room, and torment Shizuo all at the same time."

"You're parents are just going to accept a stranger in their house living with them because you smiled and asked nicely?" Izaya scoffed.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"What a day to be alive."

"Now, let's help you get that shit packed," she grinned.

...

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet your new daughter Kanra," Shizuoka gestured to Izaya in a wig. "She will be staying with us from now on. Her family is a mess and she has nowhere else to go. I hope you don't mind," Shizuoka slung her arm around Kanra and grinned.

"Oh you poor thing," Mrs. Heiwajima placed her hand over her heart. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like dear," she dragged Kanra into a warm hug. Certainly, nothing Izaya was used to receiving from his own parents. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"She can't stay here," Shizuo frowned.

"Why not?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Kanra tilted Shizuoka's head towards her. She smiled and ran her hand down Shizuo's little sister's cheek. "He is jealous because we will be spending so much time together, intimately, sharing a bed." Kanra looped her leg around Shizuoka's to pull her closer. "The male imagination runs wild. Breast to breast. Perhaps he is scared that you might become enthralled with me. Oh, dear me," Kanra placed her hand to her forehead and dramatically took a step back, "the male mind is such a strange one."

"Shizuo, you pervert," Mrs. Heiwajima crossed her arms. "I thought I raised you better than this."

"Mom, no, that's not it!" As Shizuo scrambled to defend himself against that outright foolish charade, Kanra grabbed Shizuoka's hand and dragged her upstairs to her room.

"I think I'm starting to like Kanra," Shizuoka whistled. "If dating Izaya didn't work I'm certain lesbians would make my brother crazy with envy."

"You're the insane one here. How long do you think I can keep this up before they realize it's just me wearing a stupid wig?" Izaya frowned. "This skirt is tight in all the wrong places. My wig doesn't look realistic in the slightest. And, newsflash sister, but I don't have boobs or an attractive butt."

"Hm," Shizuoka tilted her entire body to gander at the Izaya booty, "I think you may be wrong about that. Your butt is pretty cute, especially in that skirt," she pointed.

There was a knock at the door before it opened. Kanra turned to see Shizuo visibly disturbed. "Shizu, have you heard anything from Izaya?" he asked.

"Why are you asking me? Aren't you his best friend?" she frowned.

"Izaya?" Kanra looked from Shizuo to Shizuoka. "Who's that?"

"My boyfriend. Apparently I'm his keeper now since Shizuo has better things to do then talk to his one and only best friend," Shizuoka placed her hand on her hips. Kanra took that as a wonderful opportunity to loop her arm through that hole and steal a hug. She pressed her lips against Shizuoka's cheek and smiled.

"Oh, don't worry about that, he won't be your boyfriend for long," Kanra snickered.

Shizuo frowned. "Don't you think Izaya would be a little disappointed in your constant flirting?"

"Don't you think you should be asking Izaya how he is before you try to analyze my relationship with him?"

Shizuo left. The door closed. Izaya sunk to the ground and hid his face in a nearby stuffed animal. "Killing me now would be merciful."

"I think you're doing great with the whole lesbian act, sweetie," Shizuoka snickered. "I might actually fall for you at this rate."

"That's not funny, Shizu," Izaya sobbed into Mr. Teddy.

"Don't worry. I'm sure it can't get any worse than it already is."


	6. "Friendzone"

"It got worse," Izaya held up his phone messages to Shizuoka. He was eternally dressed as Kanra as long as he was under this roof but as far as everyone else knew, Izaya was off the maps.

"He is finally asking you where you are? Absence really does make the heart grow fonder," Shizuoka raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to answer him," Izaya sat on the bed and stared at the phone. "I can't."

"Well, that's probably for the best. He hasn't exactly been the bestest of friends for you lately," Shizuoka went back to painting her nails.

"Shizu," the older brother opened the door, "have you really not heard anything from Izaya recently?"

"You're awfully concerned for someone that hasn't talked to him much in months."

"He isn't answering me and he _always_ answers me."

"Have you considered that maybe he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore? Did you do something to upset him recently?" Shizuo's lips pressed into a firm line. "Oh my God! You did! What the hell did you do to Izaya?!" Shizuoka dropped her nail polish all over the desk.

"I didn't do anything..."

"Uh-huh," Shizuoka grabbed a napkin and cleaned up her nail polish remains. "Try apologizing first, brother, and then come back to me."

"Sounds like this Izaya guy is a real jerk. You should dumb him for me instead," Kanra winked.

"You have no right to say that you've never even met him," Shizuo frowned, closing the door.

"You know," Shizuoka pointed to Izaya, "for someone that boldy declared they'd make Shizuo theirs you are flirting with me a bit too much, Kanra."

"I'm trying to remedy that mistake. If he thinks I'm not interested maybe he won't be as obsessed with Kanra. We are still going for Team Izaya, aren't we?"

"You shouldn't be too picky."

Izaya shook his head. "I don't want the rest of my life to be a lie. Eventually, Shi is going to find out and I'll have no excuse to offer him except the truth of the situation."

"By all means, walk over there and confess your sins," Shizuoka pointed to the door.

"I don't know about that but I at least want to go on a date with him before this whole thing ends in my demise," Izaya stood up and meandered on over to Shizuo's room. He opened the door and smiled at the confused blonde pondering on the edge of his bed.

"Don't hurt yourself by trying to think so hard, sweetie," Kanra snickered. She walked over and sat way too close for comfort. She grabbed Shizuo's arm and clung to it. "Tell Kanra dearest all your problems." It didn't matter who Izaya was dressed as, in the end he was always going to listen to Shizuo's issues for nothing in return. Well, Kanra might ask for something in return.

"Why would I tell a stranger I've met once before my deepest darkest secrets?" Shizuo raised his hand to remove Kanra's grip but then he succumbed to the beauty and grace that was Kanra and refrained.

"Because you don't have anyone else to talk to since your friend isn't answering," Kanra replied matter-of-factly.

"Well, I suppose you do have a comforting yet familiar aura around you," Shizuo sighed. "It's to be expected that Izaya is avoiding me. I've been avoiding him for a while now. I don't know why but when he is in the room things are strange."

"Strange how?"

"I don't know. I've been fixated on him."

"You'll have to explain a bit more than that," Kanra snickered. She rested her hand on Shizuo's cheek, forcing him to look her way. "Does he make your heart skip a beat? Do you fantasize about him? Because," Kanra closed the gap between them. She rested her forehead on Shizuo's, "I can change that."

Kanra didn't allow Shizuo to open his mouth long enough to say something. She forced a kiss on him, which was all it took for him to lose what cool he had. She took his hand and ran in up her torso under her shirt. She allowed him to feel everything above the waist. For Kanra, it meant something. In reality, Izaya had nothing to feel so it was pointless.

One thing led to another and Kanra found herself at the mercy of Shizuo. Well, if she hadn't planned it like that. Kanra wasn't at the mercy of anyone. She did as she pleased with who she pleased. She just so happened to be underneath Shizuo's marvelous sports-obsessed figure. She stared into his eyes, smiling underneath him, waiting for him to do something any horny teenager would do...but then he didn't. His phone vibrated and Shizuo's attention was no longer on the beautiful trap lying underneath him. He practically leaped off of the bed to check his phone. No, sorry, Shizuo that wasn't Izaya answering you back. That was Shinra asking why you sent him a clip of a mouse squealing.

"Sweetie," Kanra sat up, adjusting her hair. "I think that is more than enough proof you might have a bit of a soft spot for your 'best friend,'" Kanra lifted up her fingers for the air quotes.

"What do you mean?"

"You love him."

"What?" Shizuo scoffed. "That's impossible. He is my best friend."

Kanra laughed, waving the comment out of the air. Izaya internally died. Heartbroken and completely unable to handle the truth, Kanra made some sly comment and left so Izaya could cry in the shower. He'd just heard it from the man himself. Shizuo Heiwajima would never love Izaya Orhiara. They were just _friends_.


	7. Untimely Confession

Izaya walked the streets of his development absentmindedly. He kicked the occasional stone here and there with his hands in his pockets. He was dressed as himself, thankfully, with that hoodie he'd never thrown out because Shizuo gave it to him, and that same black t-shirt he has worn practically every day since he popped out of the womb. 

With his hood up and his motivation to survive depleted, he sighed and sat on the bench on some random street underneath some random light post. In about three minutes he would send his first message to Shizuo, as himself, in four days. The weariness of his eyelids was nothing compared to the immense weight on his heart. 

"You look terrible," said the not-so-stranger sitting next to him. 

"Thanks," he replied, not bothering to look up. "How have you been, step-bro? I imagine the parents told you I would be living with you only for me to never show up at your door?" 

"I've been fine, thanks for asking." Izaya felt the warmth of human contact. He hadn't felt that in a while. His brother's nice warm embrace. Free of judgment and seeking absolutely nothing in return. "You've just had your heartbroken and you've been kicked out of the house. You've got it much worse than I do," he adjusted his glasses and shifted his hat. 

"Rampo, I should just move in with you," Izaya rested his head on his brother's shoulder and sighed. "There is no point in me chasing false hopes." 

"I don't know about that," Rampo looped his arm around Izaya's waist and helped him walk back to the Heiwajimas'. 

...

"Hi, Shi," Izaya waved awkwardly at his friend with his arm still around Rampo. The blonde frowned gazing down at the two. Rampo snickered. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Shizuo glared. 

"Ah, right, well..." Izaya didn't know the first thing about how to explain this. Rampo clung to him and smiled warmly at Shizuo. 

"He's been with me." 

"Who're you?" Shizuo frowned. 

"He never told you about me?" Rampo's eyes widened. He shook his head and sighed then kissed Izaya's cheek. "I'm his-" Izaya pushed Rampo's face away. "Ex-boyfriend." 

"He is dating my sister," Shizuo frowned, grabbing Rampo's shirt collar and pulling him off. "Now get out," he opened the door and threw Rampo out before closing it. He then grabbed Izaya's arm and dragged him to his room, throwing him in and on the bed before closing the door and leaning up against it. "Are you going to tell me what happened? Why haven't you talked to me these past few days? You practically went off the radar and now you show up with your ex-boyfriend? What's Shizuoka going to think?" 

"Shi," Izaya sighed and leaned back onto the bed. "Shouldn't you be asking me if I'm gay first? Anyway, it doesn't matter." 

"Why would I care if you're gay or not? And aren't you dating my sister? So wouldn't you be at least bi or something?" 

"Shi," Izaya ran his hand down his face and shook his head. "I don't know if you're incredibly considerate or just completely dumb. Most people would start freaking out about me liking them or something, right?" 

"But you're-" 

"Yeah, yeah, dating your sister," Izaya cut him off. "Don't you think it's weird that I would've had a boyfriend and not told you about it?" 

"I am a bit hurt, yes, but I thought maybe you were just scared to tell me or something." 

"This shouldn't be surprising but," Izaya folded his hands. "I don't exactly have very many friends. Where would I have found a secret boyfriend?" Izaya gave up trying to use reason so he figured he should just blurt it out. "Okay, you know what? He isn't my boyfriend. He is my step-brother. And I haven't been M.I.A. I've been looking for a place to live. My parents kicked me out so he could go live with them if he ever wanted to. Not that he would, but they don't care about that." 

"Why didn't you just come here?" Shizuo walked over to the bed and grabbed Izaya's shoulders. "You could've just lived with us. I'm sure my parents would've been fine with it. You should've talked to me." 

"Shi," Izaya smiled a bit sadly. "I would've had to share this room with you." 

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't!" Izaya swatted his hands away. "You only think of me as your friend but it's different for me!" 

"But you're-" 

"I'm not dating your sister!" Izaya snapped. "I've been in love with you this entire time!" Izaya stood up and pushed past Shizuo. "I'm going to sleep on the sofa so just forget about this. You have someone you like already, don't you?" 

"Wait-!" 

Izaya refused to deal with this conversation any longer and moved for the door. Shizuo moved to grab his arm but he was just a hair short. Izaya walked down the steps to the couch and plopped down. It was time for a nap. 


	8. Even Weirder Confession

"What are you doing down here?" Shizuoka sat down on Izaya's legs.

"Shi knows."

"Knows what?"

"That I love him and that we aren't dating," Izaya curled up further into the blanket.

"Well that really sucks but at least you can still pretend to be Kanra and date him that way," Shizuoka shrugged.

"Yeah...just no sex...I hear that does wonders for a character I made that is very interested in touching people..." Izaya mumbled. He shouldn't have made Kanra so interested in others. It was backfiring. But, dating Shizuo as Kanra would be very depressing.

"Red alert, he is coming downstairs."

"I'm still sleeping," Izaya sunk into the blanket further and closed his eyes.

"Suit yourself." Shizuoka plopped on the ground and rolled underneath the coffee table.

Shizuo walked over to the sofa and moved the blanket off of Izaya's face. Izaya faked a slight snore and kept his eyes closed. Shizuo moved his hand to Izaya's cheek and stared at him intently, trying to figure out if he was actually sleeping or not. 

"You're actually Kanra, aren't you?" Shizuo sat down in front of the couch. He continued to stare at Izaya's face. "Sorry, I didn't realize it. But after you disappeared and Kanra kept appearing. Even a dumbass like myself could figure it out..." Shizuo folded his hands but continued staring at Izaya. Izaya felt his nose itch but refused to move a muscle. "I guess this means I wasn't what I thought I was either. I took you for granted because you were around all the time, I'm sorry." Shizuo leaned forward and kissed Izaya. Izaya's face turned a light shade of pink but he still maintained that he was sleeping. 

Shizuo moved his hand down Izaya's chest and up his shirt. It felt perfectly natural to him so he didn't have to think too much about if this was right or wrong. Although, he probably should've thought about it at least a little bit since Izaya was 'sleeping'. It's a bit weird to kiss people that aren't conscious. Don't forget about consent, kiddos. 

It wasn't until Shizuo moved his hand back down Izaya's chest that his eyes snapped open and he grabbed Shizuo's hand just in time. "Whatthefuck?!" Izaya squeaked. 

"Is that what it takes for you to wake up? I thought for sure you were going to fake sleep some more," Shizuo shrugged. 

"I wasn't faking!" Izaya huffed, covering himself with the blanket so only his eyes were poking out. 

"You move a lot in your sleep, I think I would know after being friends with you for, I don't know, just the short span of my entire life," Shizuo rolled his eyes. "No way are you asleep and frozen stiff like that. Plus, you're a cuddler. You wouldn't be hiding behind the blanket if you were actually sleeping. You'd hug it." 

"You remember the stupidest shit," Izaya huffed. He could feel his face turning red and just wanted to stab Shizuo a couple of times to get him to stop saying embarrassing things. 

"I love you, Izaya," Shizuo smiled. Izaya jumped up and covered Shizuo's face with the blanket. 

"I'm going to murder you. Stop saying stuff like that!" Although Shizuo couldn't see, he could definitely still figure out where Izaya was. So, he reached up and grabbed him, pulling him close. The blanket was thick and comfy. Izaya hated that he relaxed just because the blanket was soft. 

"Let go of me!" He said but didn't resist very hard. Soft blankets are the enemy of the sleepy. 

"No. I don't want to." 

"I really cannot stay this close to you-" Izaya squeaked again when Shizuo pulled him off of the couch and into his lap. His back resting against the foot of the couch with his legs on either side of Shizuo...and Shizuo was only getting closer. 

"Hm? Why not?" Shizuo's stomach was now well and firmly pressed against Izaya's crotch. Izaya took the blanket and covered his own face instead of Shizuo's. 

"I hate your fucking guts," he whined. 

"I like yours," Shizuo placed his cold hand on Izaya's stomach. He shivered. 

"Nope. Nope. Not doing this," Izaya scrambled to his feet and ran away with the blanket covering him like some sort of Shizuo-resisting cloak. He hid in the bathroom for an eternity refusing to let anyone talk to him. 

"You really fucked that up, huh?" Shizuoka poked her head out from under the coffee table. 

"What are you doing there?!" Shizuo jumped up onto his feet, his face now red, and allowed for about a five-foot distance between him and his sister. 

"I will do anything for this ship," she gave a thumbs up and smirked. 


	9. Epilogue

"You can have my room," Shizuoka smiled and gave a thumbs up. 

"What?" Izaya blinked. 

"It's a trade. Apparently, your parents hate your guts but it's fine because they've always wanted another daughter and I'm gay for your sisters," she continued smiling. 

"Wait, wait, wait," Izaya put his fork down. "There is a lot of things I'm missing to this story, aren't there? When the fuck did you have time to get close to those two clowns?" he raised an eyebrow. 

"Hm, well," Shizuoka thought about it. "That's for me to know and for you to never find out." 

"So, you're going to live here now?" Shizuo took a sip of his coffee. 

"I guess so," Izaya scratched his cheek with the back of his fork. 

"And my sister is moving out?" 

"That's what she said...a real family trade of children..." Izaya wasn't sure how to feel about this. 

"Two birds with one stone, I'll say," Shizuo laughed. "She is annoying anyway." 

"You say that but, you're going to miss her and I'm pretty sure you don't approve of my sisters dating yours..." 

"What's wrong with that?" Shizuo shrugged. 

"You've met my sisters," Izaya shuddered. "They're creepy." 

"Says you," Shizuo pointed and poked Izaya's forehead. "You're pretty creepy yourself." 

"Shuddap," Izaya huffed. 

"But, I love you." 

"You can't say that to get out of everything," Izaya puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms. 

"But, I love-" 

Izaya slapped his hand over Shizuo's mouth. "I get it! I get it already, shut up!" 

Shizuo smiled and Izaya could feel his mouth moving. It was strange but oddly comforting all the same. He removed his hands. "Aren't you going to say it too?" Shizuo asked. 

"Huh?" Izaya's face flushed. "Why would I do that?!" 

"Aw, so you won't?" Shizuo pouted slightly. It was very effective. 

"Fine," Izaya glanced away. "Iluvutoo," he muttered. 

"What was that?" 

"I love you too okay?!" Izaya snapped and ran out to go hide in the bathroom again. This was apparently going to be a routine in their daily lives. Shizuo laughed and continued drinking his coffee. All was well in the Heiwajima household once again. 


End file.
